Joffrey: "TYRION, DO SOMETHING!!!"
Bar Flies: (Whispering) "Tyrion?"
Bar Flies: (Whispering) "Could it be?"
Bar Flies: (Whispering) "Tyrion the Imp?"
Stark Bannerman: "Tyrion, is it? Wouldn't be Tyrion Lannister, would it, wee man?
Tyrion: "Ha! I can assure you one thing, my robust friend..."
Tyrion: "If I was Tyrion Lannister..."
Tyrion: "...you wouldn't catch me in a rat's next like this!"
Barman: "Rat's nest??"
Stark Bannerman: "And I suppose you're some OTHER toe-headed half-man named Tyrion?"
Tyrion: "You and your men have been drinking quite heavily, haven't you?"
Stark Bannerman: "Aye, we enjoy a stiff drink after a victory over Lannister pansies!"
(Stark men cheer in agreement)
Tyrion: "And I'll wager a big man like you drinks enough to piss pure ale!"
Stark Bannerman: "HA!"
Stark Bannerman: "Aye, half-man. They say a Northman's piss is volatile as wildfire!"
Tyrion: "That's what I'm counting on."
Next Week: "Ice and Fire"